Thursday, March 14, 2013

Sometimes You Have to Jump...

Eric & I are about to take a very scary jump in our life. This afternoon, we're meeting with a broker to see if we qualify for a mortgage. This is very scary for me - so scary that I've tried and tried to put it off. I hate talking about money and I hate being told that I'm not good enough for something. The first is definitely going to happen at this appointment & the latter is a definite possibility. My good friends here at school keep reassuring me that Eric & I will defintely qualify, it's just a matter of how much. I'm here to tell you that I just don't believe them. What I do believe is that if we don't qualify, it'll be my fault.

The problem is, I love to shop. I have always loved to shop. When I was a child, I watched my mom swipe her Discover card and buy me pretty things. What I didn't see her do, was pay that card off in full every month - which I now know she does religiously. When I went off to college, I got a shiny Discover card of my own and was not responsible with it. I've worked hard to pay it down, but it's still looming over my head.

I've reigned things in and I've always paid on time - but I'm still really nervous. I'm aware of my credit score and know where I stand - but I'm still really nervous.

We pay a ridiculous amount in rent each month, so this move makes sense for us. We need to build our own equity, not just pay for someone else's. Ella & Charlie need a backyard to play in. Ella cannot go to school in the neighborhood we currently live in. This has to happen...

So all of this rambling was simply to ask for a few prayers... not for my fiscal situation, it's too late for that, just for my sanity as I go through this process. I don't want to let my husband down. I don't want it to be all of my fault. I don't want to be stressed about it.

And because this post was far too serious... here is a picture of Miss Ella in her overalls this morning!

1 comment:

  1. I am TOTALLY the same way except unlike you I didn't pay things off on time. I was a dumb 18 year old who had two credit cards with no job to pay them off. My parents wanted me to learn the hard way and now at 22 I am still paying them off. ugh!
    but I am sure you guys will be FINE and even though mortgages are scary, owning a house is the BEST thing EVER!

    have fun with it, I promise it will all work out:)

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